The Demons We Know and the Ones We Choose Not to Acknowledge
Alright, so demons—let’s dive right in. After all, who doesn’t want to talk about the forces of evil trying to possess us, right? LeeAnna and Tim kick off this podcast with some chilling warnings (you know, like those public service announcements about drinking and driving), but let’s be real, it’s mostly an open invitation to explore the kinds of demons that should have stayed in the 13th century. Fortunately, LeeAnna lightens the mood by joking about the “demon of the parking lot”—because of course the spirits haunting us come in all forms, including confusion over parking garages.
The Demon of the Parking Lot: A Literal Real Problem
Tim tries to get serious, citing the demon of the parking lot as “chaos and confusion.” But LeeAnna, probably still reeling from that traumatic moment of wandering aimlessly in a DC parking garage, dismisses the whole thing with a casual, “I don’t believe in a demon in the parking lot.” But does she? After all, if demons cause confusion, then who’s really to blame when your car is on Level 3, but you swear you parked on Level 2? Look, if wandering the endless concrete wilderness of a parking garage doesn’t feel like an evil plot, I don’t know what does.
Then there’s Tim’s story about the kid who couldn’t handle the terror of Scooby-Doo. The poor child’s psyche was so fragile that he had to switch from Scooby-Doo to Planet Earth (which, by the way, is way more disturbing, just ask any fish). This might be a very real example of what happens when you subject kids to too much media without parental guidance. A little too much moral dread from a talking dog and suddenly, you have a lifelong fear of getting on school buses. Classic case of childhood trauma.
Tim’s Two Definitions of Demons: Sacred and Secular—But Mostly Secular
Next, Tim’s doing the heavy lifting, trying to give us some definitions of demons. Oh, but don’t worry, he’s not just throwing random biblical quotes around like a street preacher in the middle of a meltdown. No, he splits them into sacred and secular demons, the latter being "people that seek to control others for their own benefit, while crushing their victims’ quality of life." So, basically, the guy who sits at the top of your company or the self-proclaimed influencer who wants to sell you magic smoothies while your bank account shrinks? Yeah, them.
But wait! Tim, ever the analyst, also adds that demons can be internal—your inner demons. I mean, who isn’t battling some form of self-doubt, existential despair, or—let’s not forget—that voice in your head that says, “No, you don’t really need to work out today. It’s fine. Have another cookie.” Tim then shares a quote from Ian McLaren: “Everyone you meet is fighting an epic battle.” Which is, honestly, a pretty noble sentiment if you ignore the fact that it sounds like it belongs on a self-help poster next to a picture of a kitten trying to scale a mountain.
The Battle Inside: More Chaos, More Demons
Now we get into inner demons. The real fun part of the show. Because who doesn’t enjoy a healthy dose of self-loathing, right? We all have a battle raging inside us. Maybe it’s depression, anxiety, or just the overwhelming need to scroll through Instagram for three hours in search of an answer to the question, “What’s for dinner?” Tim’s right, though—society has turned us into demons of our own creation. Overwork, burnout, and toxic cultural norms are all “demons” that hold us back. That’s right, folks. It’s not just your boss. It’s capitalism! And it’s killing us slowly. But at least we can claim that “demon” as our own personal brand.
Spiritual Warfare: Is Your Boss a Demon or Just a Regular Overachiever?
LeeAnna steps in with some real wisdom about spiritual warfare, asking if demons sleep under anesthesia (seriously, this is important?), which, honestly, sounds like the perfect query for a late-night Reddit thread. Tim, however, spends the next few minutes meditating on the spiritual warfare aspect of demons, while LeeAnna—again, ever practical—reminds us that even “demons” in the workplace can be terrifying. In her case, “work demons” definitely outdo the rest. Just don’t get me started on overbearing bosses—they’re basically just secular demons trying to steal your soul, one spreadsheet at a time.
Secular and Supernatural Demons: The Seven Deadly Sins, Now with More Demons
And of course, we end on the classic topic: the Seven Princes of Hell. Tim breaks them down for us, explaining how pride, envy, greed, and their pals represent the epitome of evil in all its supernatural glory. But you know what’s even worse than those? Secular demons, which are just... people. (Shocking, right?) Tim explains that secular demons come in the form of manipulators, charmers, and gaslighters, the emotional exploiters of the world who make us feel worthless with a well-timed compliment. These demons don't need horns and red skin; they just need a LinkedIn profile.
Folklore Demons: Tim and LeeAnna Take a Quick Tour of Terrifying Creatures
Alright, so let’s dive into some folklore demons, and you know Tim and LeeAnna have a lot to say about these. These aren’t your average “spooky” creatures you see in a Halloween special. Oh no, these demons are real overachievers in the torment department.
Tim and LeeAnna start with the Jinn, which you might recognize as genies—except forget any wishes that turn out well. As Tim explains, the Jinn are less about granting your wish and more about making sure you regret it. So you wanted a new car? Perfect! Here’s a car... in the middle of the desert. Classic case of be careful what you wish for, right?
Next up, we’ve got the Chaneques—these little green-skinned creatures are pretty much the original demon GPS malfunction. If you think you’re lost in the woods now, just wait until you meet a Chaneque.
Then there’s the Tikbalang, the half-man, half-horse demon who seems to enjoy making sure you never reach your destination.
Then, Tim gets into the Wendigo—a demon who’s all about human flesh (because why not?). Seriously, the Wendigo just makes you want to eat people? That’s some messed-up peer pressure. Yeah, it’s not the ‘snack you wanted, that’s for sure.
And last but not least, Krampus. LeeAnna and Tim have a whole back-and-forth on this Christmas-spoiler. I mean, the holidays are already stressful enough without a demon literally showing up to thrash you. Well, nothing says ‘festive’ like getting your soul judged in front of the Christmas tree.
So yeah, these folklore demons really aren’t messing around. Whether it’s the Jinn tricking you, the Chaneques disorienting you, or Krampus just hanging around your Christmas tree waiting to make sure you're on the naughty list, these demons bring a whole new level of chaos. Honestly, if demons can be this creative, maybe we’re the ones who need to rethink how we do evil.
Summing Up the Chaos: Demons as a Writerly Muse (just don’t get out a Ouija board to have a chat with them)
So there you have it, writers. From the “demon of the parking lot” to Tim’s invented “Demon of TikTok” (below). Tim and LeeAnna trudge through the many facets of evil in our world to bring you literary inspiration. Whether it's the supernatural, the secular, or just your average manipulative coworker, they remind us that demons are everywhere—lurking, waiting, and sometimes hiding behind your phone screen. It’s almost as if they’ve been giving us hints the whole time. But don’t worry, there’s no need to panic. They’re just here to make life interesting, make your book interesting, one chaotic moment at a time.
The Snark
Official podcast name: "Alchemy... from Effigy Press" (don't forget the ellipsis, folks)
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