Why Fiction Writers Should Absolutely Use Ridiculous Rumors in Their Plots
Ah, rumors. Those delightful little nuggets of nonsense that somehow spread faster than the latest viral cat video. Writers, listen up: you want your story to be real, right? But real’s boring. Real is predictable. If you’re not throwing in some chaos, absurdity, and urban legends, then what are you even doing? Writing a boring documentary? Save that for someone else.
Mikey and the Great Pop Rocks Explosion Hoax
Let’s talk about Mikey for a second. You remember him, don’t you? The kid from those old Life cereal commercials who was picky about food and somehow became the nation’s favorite cereal tester. Oh, and then came the rumor. The one where Mikey supposedly ate Pop Rocks and drank Coke and—gasp—exploded like a cheap firecracker. Because who doesn’t believe that a combination of soda and candy can cause a human to combust? It’s like someone sat down, looked at Mikey, and thought, “You know what? This is a death-worthy combo!” Spoiler alert: it didn’t happen. But that’s the beauty of rumors. They’re utterly ridiculous, and yet, people love them. They spread like wildfire and become more famous than the person they’re about.
Now, here’s the thing: as a fiction writer, you can use this. Instead of keeping everything believable—yawn!—why not throw in an outlandish, totally fabricated rumor that gives your readers something to chew on? Maybe your character was rumored to have eaten an entire birthday cake in one sitting and vanished into thin air. Or, better yet, they were last seen trying to light a match and accidentally summoned a ghost. The absurdity makes it fun. The less sense it makes, the better.
Chaos = Drama. And Drama = Gold.
If you want to keep your writing fresh, let’s be clear: chaos isn’t optional. It’s mandatory. Rumors are the perfect tool for this because they’re unpredictable, nonsensical, and totally useless. And that’s exactly what makes them so great. You’re not writing a history book; you’re writing fiction. So why not introduce a ridiculous rumor about your protagonist, like how they once ate an entire family-size jar of pickles and now have the world’s largest stomach ulcer? Sure, it’s utterly made-up. But who cares? In the world of fiction, anything can happen. Remember the “Mandela Effect”? You know, the one where everyone thought Nelson Mandela died in the 1980s? Yeah, it was all over the place. But it wasn’t real. It doesn’t matter, though, because it made people talk. That’s what you want in your stories: people scratching their heads and asking, “Wait, did that really happen?”
The Absurd is Your Playground. Own It.
Here’s the deal: you can either play it safe, writing characters who are as boring as wet toast, or you can let your imagination run wild. Toss in a ridiculous rumor, an urban legend, or a wildly untrue fact, and watch your story light up. Maybe your character survived a plane crash after eating an entire four pound bag of gummy bears. Maybe they were secretly a time traveler who caused a small uprising in ancient Egypt by accidentally stepping on a beetle. The point is: it doesn’t need to make sense. It just needs to keep people reading.
So, what are you waiting for? Bring on the rumors. Let chaos reign. Your readers will love it—even if they have no idea what just hit them.
The Snark
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