The Snark | Omnishambles!... The Art of Total Disaster

The Pure, Unadulterated Joy of Coining a Word (And Watching It Go Viral)

Language is a beautiful disaster. We try to tame it, but it always finds ways to escape. The best part? You don’t need to own the word—you just need to create it, throw it out there, and watch it spread. And if you’re lucky (or talented, or a little bit of both), you might just coin something that takes over. Think about it: Shakespeare was a word factory. The man invented “eyeball,” “swagger,” and “bedazzle,” probably while sipping wine and laughing at how little we appreciated the beauty of a well-placed neologism. What a hero.

Fast-forward to the modern era, and omnishambles has risen to take its rightful place in the language hall of fame, thanks to the brilliance of Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It.

Not just your run-of-the-mill mess—no, omnishambles is an all-encompassing disaster that eats everything in its path, leaving only confusion and hilarity behind. I’ve got a few examples of omnishambles to truly understand what we're talking about. And trust me, I’m here to serve them up with all the absurdity you can handle.

Let’s talk about a wedding day. Picture it: The bride’s mother, in a fit of overzealous joy (or maybe rage, who knows?), accidentally falls face-first into the chocolate fountain at the reception. It’s bad enough that it ruins the fondue situation for the rest of the guests, but this is only the beginning of the omnishambles. The groom’s ex-wife—you know, the one who was invited “by mistake”—decides this is the perfect time to declare that the couple’s wedding cake is, in fact, a cursed symbol of their doomed relationship. Meanwhile, a hawk attacks the officiant, thinking the beautiful ceremonial robes are some sort of snack. You now have a full-blown omnishambles: A ruined wedding, a bird attack, and a speech that can only be described as “uncomfortably intimate.”

But wait, I have more. Let’s talk about an (imaginary) government program that was supposed to be the savior of the nation. I'm calling it The Great New Government Web Portal (an initiative funded by, of course, our taxpayer money) that was supposed to be an innovative tech solution. Instead, it crashes spectacularly on launch day, producing an endless stream of viral cat videos, while simultaneously locking out 90% of users. But, for extra omnishambles points, it also causes a nationwide power outage, plunging half the country into darkness and setting off alarms everywhere. The website, now famous for its chaotic cat video content, accidentally serves as the host for a series of cryptic conspiracy theories involving squirrels and the moon landing.

This? This is omnishambles at its peak. If this were a reality TV show, it would have its own spin-off.

The beauty of omnishambles is that it perfectly encapsulates those messy moments where everything goes wrong—no matter how much someone tries to control it. The thing is, it’s not just about chaos. It’s about the sheer audacity of thinking you’ve got it all together, only to watch it fall apart in the most spectacular way possible. It’s not just a disaster—it’s a spectacle, and as writers, we can’t help but revel in it.

Here’s the thing: as writers, we love setting up expectations and then crushing them under the weight of a good, solid twist. Readers think they know what’s coming—the bride’s mother is definitely going to sabotage the wedding—but that’s just a small part of the carnage. The rest of it? All you, baby. The moment the groom’s ex-wife opens her mouth or the hawk swoops down, you’ve got a reader’s full attention. And they’ll never forget it. That’s the magic of omnishambles.

Now, the key to pulling this off is making sure that when you drop that twist, it doesn’t feel like you’ve just randomly thrown something out there. You can’t just throw in a hawk attack for the sake of it and call it a day. No, the best omnishambles are carefully crafted: You set up the wedding, you establish the chaos, and then when the bird swoops down, it feels like the most natural thing in the world (in the weirdest way possible). The same goes for your writing. The twist has to make sense within the world you’ve built. It’s about planting the seeds of chaos and letting them grow wild.

So, why do we love this kind of chaos? Because life is chaotic, and fiction is a reflection of that beautiful, messy, unpredictable world. As writers, we get to take that chaos and turn it into something magical.

Maybe you’re writing about a detective unraveling a case, and just when they think they’ve got it figured out—boom—a new twist. Maybe it’s a character who finally finds their way in the world, only to realize they’ve been walking in the wrong direction the entire time. Whatever it is, embrace the omnishambles. The beauty of it is in the surprise, the mess, and the joy of watching it all unfold.

At the end of the day, writers create worlds full of wild, beautiful chaos, just like the unexpected disasters we’ve mentioned here. So, don’t be afraid to surprise your readers. After all, life is full of omnishambles—same goes for your stories.

The Snark